Crete's Hidden Gem: Asterion Apartments - Your Dream Vacation Awaits!
Crete's Hidden Gem: Asterion Apartments - Seriously, Your Dream Vacation Awaits (Maybe?) - A Brutally Honest Review
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because I just got back from Asterion Apartments in Crete, and I’m ready to spill the beans. Forget those sanitized, perfectly curated travel blogs – this is the real deal. And trust me, after a week of sun, sea, and a whole lotta olive oil, my brain is still processing. This review? It’s going to be as messy and wonderful as the best plate of Cretan dolmades (and maybe a little bit sour, just like a bad raki shot).
First Impressions: The Good, The… Well, Not So Good… And The Honestly Hilarious
Landing in Crete, you're instantly hit with that Mediterranean magic. Sunbeams, the smell of the salt air, the promise of… well, something good. Asterion Apartments, touted as a "hidden gem," certainly delivers on the "hidden" part. Finding it was a bit of a treasure hunt, let’s be honest. The winding roads, the slightly questionable signage… It added to the adventure, right? (Right? I think so… Maybe.)
The accessibility is… well, let’s just say if you're relying on a wheelchair, call ahead. The website says it has facilities for disabled guests, but be thorough. Get specific details. The elevator? Smallish. Pathways? Uneven in places. Just be informed, and make your own assessment. I’m gonna be frank, after a week of climbing those steps, I felt like I ran the Marathon.
The Rooms: Cozy, Clean… And Did I Mention the Balconies?
Once inside, the apartments are… pleasant. Available in all rooms: Air conditioning? Check. Air conditioning in public areas? Definitely check. My room, while not palatial, was clean, comfy, and – most importantly – had a balcony with a view. And not just any view. Oh no. Imagine waking to the sun peeking over the turquoise waters… and the distant sound of goats bleating. Real Cretan life! I’m serious, I sat every morning on that balcony, drinking my (free, Free!) bottled water, and feeling like I was actually living the dream. Free Wi-Fi in every room, and the Internet access - wireless generally worked well.
Bathroom: The extra toiletries were handy, and the towels were fluffy. Though, one morning, I swear I saw a tiny, almost imperceptible stain on one of the linens. Nothing major, mind you, but it was there, and it bothered me more than it should have.
The rooms themselves are pretty well equipped. Additional toilet – always a win. Alarm clock: check. Bathrobes, slippers? Yes to all. Blackout curtains: necessary! Coffee/tea makers: essential. Hair dryer: praise the heavens! In-room safe box: always a good idea. Non-smoking: thankfully… and the soundproofing… let's test it and find out! Seating area? Comfy enough for a bit of relaxing. Satellite/cable channels and on-demand movies for those rainy days.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: More Than Just Souvlaki (Thank Goodness!)
Ah, food. My kryptonite and the highlight of any vacation. The Asterion boasts plenty of dining options. Breakfast [buffet] was a mixed bag. The Asian breakfast was… adventurous, let’s say. Western breakfast: more my speed with the coffee/tea in restaurant. The Buffet in restaurant option let me load up on pastries (guilty!), but the alternative meal arrangement was my life-saver when I started craving something beyond Greek salad.
The poolside bar was a lifesaver. Bottle of water on tap, and a happy hour that actually made me happy. The coffee shop was decent, and the restaurants themselves offered a variety of cuisines. I even tried some Asian cuisine in restaurant, and while it wasn't exactly authentic, it offered a nice change of pace. The desserts in restaurant were divine… and the salad in restaurant helped me kid myself that I was being somewhat healthy! The snack bar was a godsend for quick bites, and the poolside bar… let's just say I spent a lot of time there. The vegetarian restaurant options were decent, nothing spectacular, but definitely a plus. A la carte in restaurant was on offer, but I stuck to the buffet for a quick bite. The room service [24-hour] was used one night when I was feeling particularly lazy.
Ways to Relax: Spa Days, Fitness Fiascos, and Poolside Bliss
This is where Asterion really shines, or at least, shows potential. The swimming pool [outdoor] is gorgeous, with stunning pool with view. The Spa/sauna and Steamroom are the real deal… though I must admit I spent more time lounging swimming poolside. The gym/fitness center is present, though I can't say I spent much time there outside of observing the gym equipment. It’s got standard machines; nothing fancy. Now, the massage… Ah, the massage! I’ll dedicate a stream of consciousness regarding that:
Oh my god, the massage. So, I got one. A body scrub and body wrap combo. Honestly, it was heavenly. I’m not kidding. It started with a foot bath which, after my relentless climbing, was the most incredible sensation. The masseuse worked miracles, kneading away all my knots, rubbing me down with deliciously scented oils, and generally making me feel like a limp noodle of utter bliss. I may have even… fallen asleep. Waking up afterward, I felt like I’d been reborn. Seriously, book a massage. Just book it. Trust me. The Spa is amazing… and the Sauna after? Chef's kiss.
Safety and Cleanliness: Is It Actually Safe?
Cleanliness and safety are clearly a priority. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, and staff trained in safety protocol give you peace of mind. Hand sanitizer and hygiene certification are readily available. Rooms sanitized between stays, but the room sanitization opt-out available makes you feel more in control. My personal favorite? Cashless payment service. Doctor/nurse on call – just in case (thankfully, I didn't need this). First aid kit and fire extinguisher, are essential, especially when you're as clumsy as I am. Security [24-hour] and CCTV in common areas are also big plus points.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
Daily housekeeping: bless them! The concierge was helpful, but they were a little swamped. Laundry service and dry cleaning are there to help get rid of those travel stains. Air conditioning in public area? Thank glob! Cash withdrawal available. Smoking area, for those who are of the habit. The luggage storage was great, and the safe deposit boxes made me feel more secure leaving valuables in the room. The elevator helps navigate the building, and the exterior corridor made me laugh every single time.
Getting Around: Exploring Crete (and Maybe Getting Lost)
Airport transfer is available, which made things much easier. Car park [free of charge] is a huge bonus, especially if you're renting a car. Taxi service is also readily available. Once you're out exploring, car park [on-site], bicycle parking are useful options.
For the Kids: Family-Friendly Fun (or a Quick Escape)
Family/child friendly. Babysitting service. Kids meal. Overall couple's room. My experience leans towards the single-traveler side; however, the kids had a blast with the outdoor swimming pool, and the staff were very accommodating.
Business Facilities: Work & Play Meetings. Seminar. Meetings stationery. Business facilities. Xerox/fax in business center.
Things to Do: Beyond the Beach
Crete is a treasure trove of things to do, and Asterion is well-situated to take advantage of them. The front desk [24-hour] is helpful in offering information. You can explore ancient ruins, hike stunning gorges (go slow if you're me), and of course, swim in the crystal-clear waters. If you’re looking for a proposal spot, the terrace is beautiful.
The Verdict: Is Asterion Worth It?
Okay, so here's the deal. Asterion Apartments isn't perfect. It’s got its quirks, its minor flaws, and its moments of (slightly) chaotic charm. However, it has an undeniable warmth, a genuine connection to Cretan culture, and a view that will steal your heart.
Here's my brutal honesty:
- Pros: Unbeatable views, friendly
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this is not your grandma's itinerary. This is my Asterion Apartments adventure in Crete, and frankly, it's already shaping up to be a glorious mess.
The Asterion Apartments: Operation Sunburn and Souvlaki (and Maybe, Just Maybe, a Little Relaxation)
Day 1: Arrival and Utter Chaos (a.k.a. "Where's My Luggage?!")
- Time: 6:00 AM (ish) - Wake up, panic about the impending flight. Why do I always leave packing to the last minute?
- Event: Travel to the airport. Found my passport! (Minor victory).
- Transportation: That Ryanair flight. Pray for no delays. And for a seat with legroom (fat chance).
- Quote: "Oh, for the love of Zeus, please let my luggage arrive with me." (Said aloud, to no one in particular).
- Minor categories:
- Emotional reaction: Anxiety, sprinkled with a dash of delusional optimism.
- Quirky observation: The airport coffee tastes suspiciously like airplane fuel.
- Real-sounding imperfection: Forgot to pack socks.
- Time: Noon (give or take an hour, thanks, Ryanair). Arrive at Chania Airport.
- Event: Luggage MIA. Commence mild panic. This is officially not a good start.
- Transportation: Taxi (probably expensive, but I'm desperate) to Asterion Apartments. Google Maps says it's a 30-minute drive. Pray it's not a goat path.
- Quote: "…Okay, deep breaths. I came here to relax, not to have a mental breakdown because I'm wearing a t-shirt I've had since college."
- Minor Categories:
- Messier structure: Okay, so the taxi driver was blasting techno. And kept swerving to avoid potholes. And I'm pretty sure he was on a phone call the whole time.
- Emotional reaction: From mild panic to "I need a large, stiff drink, stat."
- Opinionated language: The luggage situation is BULLSHIT.
- Time: 1:00 PM - Check-in at Asterion Apartments. Finally!
- Event: Immediate relief. The apartment is actually gorgeous. Clean, well-appointed, with a balcony overlooking… the sea!
- Minor Categories:
- Quirky observations: The air smells vaguely of… olives? And sunshine? I could get used to this.
- Emotional reaction: A genuine smile. Maybe, just maybe, this trip is going to be worth the initial stress.
- Time: 2:00 PM - The REAL mission begins: locate the nearest taverna. Hunger is a powerful motivator.
- Event: Unpack (what little I have), quick change, and then venture forth.
- Transportation: Feet! Exploration mode activated!
- Quote: "Souvlaki, I'm coming for you!"
Day 2: Beach Bliss (and a Close Encounter with a Squid)
- Time: 9:00 AM - Wake up to sunshine and the sound of waves. HEAVEN. Forget my luggage, for now.
- Event: Breakfast on the balcony: Greek yogurt, honey, and… instant coffee (still working on that luggage situation).
- Minor categories:
- Real-sounding imperfection: Spilled coffee on my only clean shirt. Sigh.
- Opinionated Language: That Greek yogurt is practically sent from the gods.
- Time: 10:00 AM - Beach time!
- Event: Head to the nearby beach (Balos Beach, I think?). Crystal clear water, white sand… it's postcard-perfect.
- Minor Categories:
- Doubling down on Beach Time!: Seriously, This is all I came here to encounter. I ended up spending over 4 hours on the beach, I read, I swam, I attempted to snorkel (badly, let's be honest). Watched a group of local kids building epic sandcastles. The sun was relentless, but the sea evened it out.
- Transportation: Walk (a bit of a trek, but so worth it).
- Quirky observations: I swear the sea is more blue than reality allows. And I could hear a Greek man yelling at his children.
- Emotional reaction: Utter bliss. Forget the world. Just the sun, the sea, and me.
- Minor Categories:
- Time: 2:00 PM - Lunch at a beach-side taverna.
- Event: Attempt to order calamari. The waiter, bless his soul, looks at me like I'm speaking Martian. He then recommended a grilled something that was like a small fish. I ate it, even though I swore I did not like fish.
- Minor Categories:
- Messier structure: I somehow got talked into ordering a "local specialty" (a.k.a. something I couldn't pronounce). It was… interesting. I'm pretty sure I just ate a squid.
- Emotional reaction: Mild confusion, followed by a grudging respect for the Cretan culinary arts.
- Minor Categories:
- Time: 5:00 PM - Back to the apartment, after getting over the whole squid incident.
- Event: Siesta! (This is the life).
- Minor Categories:
- Real-sounding imperfection: I'm pretty sure I got a bit sunburned. Ouch.
- Quote: "I am officially fluent in the language of nap."
Day 3: Exploring Chania (and Maybe Finding My Luggage? PLEASE.)
- Time: 9:00 AM - Wake up: Breakfast and hope that my luggage arrives.
- Event: Explore the charming old town of Chania!
- Transportation: Bus (a bit crowded, but cheap).
- Minor categories:
- Quirky observation: The streets are crazy with people.
- Emotional reaction: Still optimistic.
- Time: Noon - Stroll around the Venetian Harbor.
- Event: Wandering the harbor, taking photos, absorbing the atmosphere. So incredibly pretty!
- Minor Categories:
- Doubling down on a single experience: The harbor at dusk is truly something else. The lights reflecting on the water, the smell of grilled fish, the sound of laughter… It's pure beauty. I spent over an hour just sitting there, people-watching and soaking it all in.
- Emotional reaction: Overwhelmed (in a good way). Quote: "This is why I travel."
- Minor Categories:
- Time: 2:00 PM - Found a small shop.
- Event: Delicious lunch and bought souvenirs.
- Time: 5:00 PM - Back to the apartment.
- Event: Still no luggage. Commence passive-aggressive phone calls to the airline.
- Quote: "I am this close to filing a formal complaint. And maybe burning the airline to the ground."
- Minor Categories:
- Real-sounding imperfection: I may have accidentally broken a vase in the apartment. Oops.
- Opinionated language: This luggage saga is a TEST of my sanity.
Day 4: The Realization (and Maybe a Volcano Visit?)
- Time: 9:00 AM - Luggage finally ARRIVED! (Cue the angels singing!).
- Event: Unpack, and then re-pack because I brought 10 times the clothes I needed.
- Transportation: Taxi to the Volcano!
- Time: Noon - Arrive to the Volcano.
- Event: So beautiful!.
- Minor categories:
- Quirky observation: The volcano is extremely active.
- Emotional reaction: Happy.
- Time: 2:00 PM - Lunch
- Event: Lunch and a relaxing time.
- Time: 5:00 PM - Beach time.
- Event: Beach time!
- Quote: "My life is complete."
- Minor Categories:
- Real-sounding imperfection: Sunburn.
- Opinionated language: That volcano is amazing.
Day 5: Departure (Bittersweet Goodbye)
- Time: 6:00 AM - Pack. (Again. Why do I buy so much crap?).
- Event: Final breakfast on the balcony. Stare wistfully at the sea.
- Quote: "I don't want to leave, but I guess reality calls."
- Transportation: Taxi to the airport.
- Time: 9:00 AM - Depart from Crete.
- Event: Reflect on the glorious mess that was my Asterion Apartments adventure. Sun, souvlaki, a brush with a squid, and finally, the luggage!
- Minor Categories:
- Messier structure: I'm already planning
Asterion Apartments: The Unfiltered Truth (and Hopefully Your Dream Vacation!)
Okay, so like, what *actually* is Asterion Apartments all about? Is it just another generic "family-run" place?
Okay, deep breaths. So, Asterion isn't just some cookie-cutter, IKEA-furnished, picture-perfect postcard experience. It's... well, it's got soul. Run by a family – *yes*, the dreaded family-run thing – but *this* family actually seems to genuinely *care*. I mean, Kostas, the owner (or was it his brother? They all look related after a few Mythos beers), the one who greeted us, had this huge, booming laugh that shook the olive trees. And Maria, the matriarch, makes THIS amazing olive oil cake, which is pure heaven. Forget the fancy hotel breakfast – *this* is the good stuff. The apartments themselves? They're clean, spacious enough, and honestly, the view from the balcony… Oh, the view! It's worth every penny. Just… don't expect perfection. Sometimes the hot water takes a while, and the Wi-Fi? Let's just say it’s on Cretan time, which is basically whenever it feels like it. But who needs Wi-Fi when you have the frickin' Aegean Sea staring you in the face?! Seriously.
Location, location, location! How close are we *really* to the beach and the… well, everything?
Ah, the question that keeps me up at night! Asterion is in that perfect sweet spot. You're not *right on* the main drag, which means peace and quiet. But, the beach? Like, a five-minute stroll. Downhill. Which means a slightly more… challenging uphill return after a day of sunbathing and mythos. Totally worth it. Restaurants? Loads. Tavernas serving authentic Greek food? Yep, right there. Little shops selling souvenirs and that weird dried fig stuff that's surprisingly addictive? Yup. Everything you *actually* need is walkable. The only downside? Parking can be a bit of a nightmare during peak season. I spent a solid half-hour circling the block one afternoon, feeling like a vulture. But hey, it's the price you pay for being in paradise, right? (Insert dramatic sigh here.)
The pool! Tell me about the pool! I'm a pool person.
Okay, buckle up, pool fanatics! The pool… It's legit. It's not Olympic-sized, but it's big enough to actually *swim* in, not just bob around pretending to be a graceful swan. There are sun loungers, usually with a good amount of sun, or not, because the sun changes position, as it's wont to do. It's clean, the water's refreshing (especially after a long day exploring), and it’s a great social space. I actually met some incredibly friendly people there. One lady, from Germany, kept trying to teach me German. Another guy, a true eccentric, spent his entire vacation wearing a giant inflatable flamingo. It was…memorable. The only slight downside? It can get busy sometimes. I did have a minor incident involving a rogue inflatable donut and a near-drowning experience. (Okay, maybe it wasn't *that* dramatic, but I did get a mouthful of chlorine). But overall, the pool is a winner. Just keep an eye out for those inflatable things.
Food! Give me the lowdown on the food situation. Are we talking bland tourist fare, or actual Greek goodness?
Oh, the food! This is where Asterion *really* shines. Forget those soulless, generic hotel buffets. You're surrounded by real Greek tavernas. I'm talking fresh seafood, grilled to perfection, with a squeeze of lemon and a side of… happiness. The portions? Generous. The prices? Surprisingly reasonable. We ate at this little family-run place down the street, where the grandmother was practically force-feeding us moussaka. It was the best moussaka I've *ever* had. Seriously. I’m dreaming about it right now. Don't be afraid to try everything. Even the things you *think* you won't like. (Turns out, I absolutely adore octopus). Pro-tip: Learn a few basic Greek phrases. It makes a difference, even if you butcher the pronunciation like I did. The locals are incredibly welcoming and love when you try. And be warned: you *will* gain weight. But it's a happy weight, a holiday weight, a weight you'll happily brag about.
Okay, so what's the *one* thing I absolutely MUST do while staying at Asterion?
Okay, here it is. The single most important piece of advice I can give you: rent a car and explore. Don’t just stay in Asterion and the immediate area. Crete is *huge* and breathtaking! Get out there!
Now, I know you are probably thinking, "Rent a car? I'm on vacation! I want to relax!" Listen, I’m naturally lazy and I thought the same beforehand, and I almost didn't do it. But please, trust me on this. The roads can be a little… challenging. Picture windy mountain passes, hairpin turns, and the occasional goat wandering across the road. (I honestly almost hit a goat. Sorry, goat.) But the views! The hidden beaches! The tiny villages clinging to the cliffs! It’s worth every sweaty palm and near-death experience.
We drove to Elafonisi Beach. The sand is pink, the water is turquoise, and it's like stepping into a postcard. Absolutely stunning. Then we went to the Samaria Gorge, an adventure that left me physically broken but utterly exhilarated. (Bring good shoes!). Even just driving around, getting lost in the mountains…it was a highlight.
So, yeah, rent a car. Embrace the chaos. And don’t forget to buy some Cretan honey. You’ll thank me later. Seriously, you'll thank me. For what? Well, for experiencing the *real* Crete.
It was the best decision I made the entire trip. It truly was.
Any negatives to be aware of? Let's not sugarcoat it.
Okay, okay, let's be real. Nobody's perfect, and neither is Asterion Apartments. The biggest thing, as I said, the internet. It's a crapshoot. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. If you're a digital nomad, you'll probably tear your hair out. If you’re looking for a quiet escape from city life, go for it. And the other thing? Mosquitoes. Bring bug spray. Like, industrial-strength bug spray. They are relentless, ruthless, and they love a good sunset dinner on the balcony. Also, the air conditioning in certain apartments can struggle a bit during the hottest months. But honestly, these are minor inconveniences. And be preparedTop Hotel Search
