Goa's WILDEST Hostel: Funky Monkey's Epic Adventures Await!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the swirling, sun-drenched chaos that is Funky Monkey's Epic Adventures in Goa! This ain't your grandma's hostel, folks. This is a place where the wild things roam, the sun kisses your skin until it’s begging for shade, and memories are made that'll haunt… in the best way possible.
First things first: Getting There & Around – A Mostly Smooth Ride (with the Occasional Monkey Business)
Okay, so accessibility isn't exactly their strong suit. I'm seeing "Facilities for disabled guests" but no specific breakdown. This feels like a solid "check with them beforehand" situation, ya know? Let's be real, Goa isn't exactly paved with gold, mostly sand and scooters, so research is key.
- Airport transfer is a glorious thing after a long flight. Thank god for that.
- Car park [free of charge] – YES! Parking in Goa can be a battle, so this is a MAJOR win. Car park [on-site] too! They seem to have it covered.
- Taxi service – Always a good option, especially if you've been enjoying Happy Hour a little too much (more on that later…). Biking around is totally chill too, Bicycle parking - check!
- VALET PARKING? Ok, Funky Monkey, showing off a bit, are we? Love it.
The Vibe: A Chaotic Symphony of Sun, Sand, and…Sanitization?
Funky Monkey is all about the energy. It's that kind of place where you can roll out of bed, stumble to the breakfast [buffet] (more on that later, also, you know there is Breakfast in room), and find yourself chatting with a random Aussie about the meaning of life before noon. It's Family/child friendly too! Surprising, right? Couple's room available as well! It’s a mix, but let’s get real: the “epic adventure” part? It’s about the friendships forged in the face of questionable decisions, the shared stories, and the general sense of "anything goes" (within reason, thankfully. Safety first, people!).
Let's Talk CLEANLINESS!! (Deep Breath)
Okay, I'm going to be honest. I'm a bit of a germaphobe. But, good news! Funky Monkey appears to actually give a damn about hygiene. The Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. They even have Hand sanitizer, Hand sanitizer everywhere. The Hygiene certification gives me some peace of mind, and the fact that they offer Room sanitization opt-out available is a nice touch. I love that they are using Professional-grade sanitizing services and have Staff trained in safety protocol. No one wants to be that person who gets the Goa tummy…
Food, Glorious Food (and Drinks!) – From Breakfast Buffets to Midnight Munchies
This is where Funky Monkey shines. I spent a week here, and I'm pretty sure I gained a stone (okay, maybe two!).
- The Buffet: The breakfast buffet is a necessity. It's a glorious spread of Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, eggs, fresh fruit, pastries, and enough coffee to fuel a small army - I may have had more than my share of the Coffee/tea in restaurant.
- The Restaurants: Restaurants are ready for you! They have everything from Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, and Vegetarian restaurant. I spent way too much time at the Poolside bar. The Snack bar is perfect for those sneaky late-night cravings.
- The Bars: Happy hour is legendary. Cocktails are cheap, the sun is setting over the Indian Ocean, and everyone is buzzing. Pure bliss.
- Room Service: I also loved that there's Room service [24-hour].
Let's be real, I'm pretty sure I spent a whole day poolside, alternating between a Pool with view and a Bottle of water (hydration is key!). The Soup in restaurant and Salad in restaurant offered some healthy options.
Relaxation Station: If You Can Find the Time…
Okay, so "relaxing" at Funky Monkey might involve a massage followed by a shot. But hey, no judgment! It has a Fitness center (I didn't go, but it's there!), a Spa/sauna, Spa and Sauna as well, Steamroom, and even a Foot Bath. You'll find more Massage.
Things to Do & Epic Adventures (That Don't Involve Getting Sick)
- The Pool: The Swimming pool is a social hub. Perfect for a dip!
- Things to do: The place is geared up for special events, with Audio-visual equipment for special events, Outdoor venue for special events. They have a Gift/souvenir shop – because everyone overspends on souvenirs.
- Getting around is a breeze.
Rooms: Your Oasis of Calm (or Not)
The rooms themselves are pretty standard hostel fare, but CLEAN!
- Wi-Fi [free] in all rooms! That's a HUGE win.
- Air conditioning – Essential. Essential, essential, essential.
- Non-smoking rooms – Thank you, Funky Monkey. Seriously.
- Extra long bed is great!
- Private bathroom: A luxury, trust me.
- Linens And Towels and Shower and Toiletries
The Nitty Gritty: Services, Conveniences & All That Jazz
Funky Monkey has: Laundry service, Ironing service, Luggage storage, Currency exchange, and even a Doctor/nurse on call! Cash withdrawal available. Elevator - Check! Air conditioning in public area - Check! They've got a Front desk [24-hour].
The Bottom Line:
Funky Monkey is not perfect. It's loud, it's messy, and sometimes, things go a little sideways. But that's part of the charm. It's a place where you can be yourself, make lifelong friends, and have an adventure you'll never forget. It's Goa distilled into its purest, most chaotic form.
My Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Monkeys (minus half a monkey for those questionable accessibility concerns)
My Emotional Response:
I left Funky Monkey with a tan, a hangover, and a heart full of memories. I didn't want to leave. I still dream about the breakfast buffet and the sound of laughter echoing through the hallways. This place? It's magic.
Goa's WILDEST Hostel: Funky Monkey's Epic Adventures Await! – Book Now and Get Ready to Get Funky!
Are you ready to unleash your inner adventurer? To trade your everyday routine for sun-kissed skin, late-night laughs, and memories that will last a lifetime? Then it's time to book your stay at Funky Monkey's Epic Adventures!
Here's what you'll get:
- Unbeatable Value: Crazy-affordable prices for dorms and private rooms, leaving you more cash for those epic Goa experiences.
- A Vibe You Won't Find Anywhere Else: Forget stuffy hotels! Funky Monkey is all about good times, good people, and good vibes.
- Foodie Paradise: Indulge in a breakfast buffet to kickstart your day, and then head to the poolside bar for tropical cocktails and tasty snacks.
- Epic Adventures: From sun-drenched beaches to hidden waterfalls, the Funky Monkey team can help you plan the ultimate Goa itinerary.
- Safety First, Fun Always: With top-notch hygiene, friendly staff, and a 24-hour front desk, you can relax and enjoy the ride.
Don't just dream about it – LIVE it!
Book your stay at Funky Monkey's Epic Adventures today and receive:
- 10% off your first booking! (Use code MONKEY10 at checkout)
- FREE welcome drink upon arrival.
- Early Bird Bonus: Book your stay for a minimum of 7 nights and get a free sunset yoga class! Click here to book your unforgettable Goa adventure!
Alright, buckle up buttercup, because this ain't your grandma's travel itinerary. This is the Funky Monkey Hostel in Goa, India, through the bleary-eyed, sun-kissed, slightly-hungover lens of yours truly. Prepare for a glorious mess.
Day 1: Arrival and Absolute Chaos (aka, "Lost Luggage and Finding My Soul…Maybe")
- 6:00 AM (ish) - Wake up on the damn plane with the vague sense of impending doom that always accompanies international travel. This time, it's the Indian kind of doom. You know, the one involving a questionable airport bathroom situation.
- 9:00 AM - Land in Dabolim Airport. Sweat instantly begins beading on every available surface. The air is THICK. The heat is a sentient being. And my luggage? Poof. Gone. Vanished into the ether of bureaucratic inefficiency. Cue freakout #1. I'm talking full-blown, arm-waving, "I'm going to die wearing this airport outfit" panic.
- 9:30 AM - Thankfully, a guy named Raj, with a smile that could melt glaciers, is holding a sign with my name, looking vaguely amused. He navigates the airport chaos with a zen-like calm that I can only dream of. Turns out he's with the hostel – bless his heart and all the deities.
- 10:30 AM - The ride to the Funky Monkey. It's a tapestry of vibrant colors, honking horns, cows casually strolling across the road, and the pervasive aroma of spices and something… else. Maybe burning rubber? Who cares, it's GOA. This is when the "I can't believe I'm actually here" feeling hits, followed immediately by "I'm going to need a beer."
- 11:30 AM - Check-in at the Funky Monkey. The place is…well, funky. Graffiti art everywhere, mismatched furniture, a communal vibe that feels both welcoming and slightly intimidating. The other travelers look like they've been living here for years. I, on the other hand, look like a bewildered tourist who just lost her suitcase.
- 12:00 PM - Lunch at the hostel's cafe. I order a thali, hoping to impress the locals (and distract myself from my missing suitcase). It arrives looking AMAZING, but my attempts to eat it with my hands are a spectacular failure. Rice EVERYWHERE. Curry on my chin. I'm basically an idiot.
- 1:00 PM - Discover a glorious rooftop terrace overlooking the beach. This is where I decide to spend the rest of the day. Beers are purchased. The view is breathtaking. I start to forget about the luggage. Maybe this Goa thing isn't so bad after all.
- 3:00 PM - Try to find the beach. Get a little lost. Realize that the "beach" is actually a short walk, and I'm just directionally challenged.
- 3:30 PM - The beach! Anjuna Beach, to be exact. It's everything everyone said it would be: white sand, turquoise water, and a million people trying to sell you things. I find a sun lounger and settle in. The sun is fierce. The ocean is calling. I feel utterly, completely, and wonderfully present.
- 6:00 PM - Sunset. Absolutely unreal. The sky explodes with color. Everyone on the beach collectively sighs in awe. I take a million photos, knowing none will ever capture the actual magnificence of it.
- 7:00 PM - Dinner at a beach shack. Seafood platter. My stomach is finally happy. The beers are flowing. The conversation with a couple of fellow travelers turns from polite small talk to shared travel woes, life goals, and questionable life choices. Suddenly, I feel less alone, less a lost suitcase, and more like…me.
- 9:00 PM - The hostel's rooftop bar is where it's at. Live music. Dancing. A slight haze of…something. I'm pretty sure I make a fool of myself on the dance floor, but, hey, nobody cares. Freedom.
- 11:00 PM - Bed. Finally. Exhausted but exhilarated. Missing luggage? Yeah, still missing. But tonight, it's not a problem.
- Midnight - Wake up from an amazing dream, and grab a beer.
- 1.00 AM - Decide, with the newfound knowledge that I'll be living in a hostel for a few weeks, that I'm going to change my lifestyle and become a party animal, and a local.
Day 2: Temples, Taxis, and Trying to Do Too Much
- 9:00 AM - Wake up with a killer headache, my brain feeling cotton-like, and a vague sense of regret about the aforementioned dancing. Coffee is a MUST. And maybe a hair of the dog.
- 10:00 AM - A breakfast of pancakes and eggs at the cafe. It's heaven, made even better by the fact that I somehow managed to acquire someone else's bag of sunscreen to protect my pasty skin.
- 11:00 AM - Decide to go on a local tour and visit some temples.
- 1:00 PM - Take a taxi to a famous temple, and realise that it's a religious place where I have to dress moderately. I have to buy a shawl to cover my shoulders. It makes me laugh at the lack of planning.
- 2:00 PM - A spiritual experience that I will never forget.
- 3:00 PM - The taxi driver insists on taking me to another temple, but this one isn't my thing.
- 4:00 PM - Back at the hostel. I'm wiped, and have a long nap.
- 6:00 PM - Decide to try a yoga class. It feels great, and I make a few friends.
- 8:00 PM - Dinner and more rooftop bar shenanigans.
Day 3: A Day of Freedom (and possibly a bit more chaos)
9:00 AM - Sleep in. Feel absolutely amazing.
10:00 AM - Decide to rent a scooter - finally! I've spent the last week observing the locals flying around on these things with an ease I can't comprehend.
10:30 AM - Realize that I maybe shouldn't have rented a scooter. I stall it. I drive on the wrong side of the road. I almost take out a stray dog. Then I remember what I've come here for, and stop apologising, remembering that I'm a tourist, and I'm not supposed to be perfect!
11:00 AM - Find a great beach. The scooter gives me a great sense of freedom.
12:00 PM - Start getting a tan, maybe a bit too ambitious but that's okay.
4:00 PM - Head towards the Flea Market, but get stuck and have to go back!
6:00 PM - Head back to the hostel, and make sure to buy my first beer for the day.
Day 4: Beach Bumming and Contemplation
- 9:00 AM - Wake up with the sun, a gentle breeze whispering through the mosquito net. I swear, the world feels brighter, somehow. I finally feel settled.
- 10:00 AM - Breakfast at the hostel. Today, it's a giant bowl of fresh fruit with yogurt.
- 11:00 AM - Beach day, round two. This time, I know my spot. I find the perfect sun lounger, order a mango lassi, and surrender myself to the sun and the sound of the waves.
- 1:00 PM - Get a massage. Pure bliss. The masseuse, a tiny woman with hands of steel, manages to work out knots I didn't even know I had.
- 3:00 PM - Wander along the beach, collecting seashells and watching the locals play cricket.
- 4:00 PM - Find a quiet cove and spend an hour just…watching. Watching the tide, the sky, the people. Actually thinking.
- 5:00 PM - As the sun begins to set, something shifts inside me. The initial anxiety, the awkwardness, the sheer overwhelm of being in a new place, it all fades away.
- 6:00 PM - Dinner - More seafood, because, well, why not? I meet a few new people. We share stories and laughter. The conversation is easy, natural.
- 7:00 PM - Decide that I actually quite like being a party animal.
- 8:00 PM - More beach partying and general shenanigans. Maybe I'll get a tattoo. Maybe I won't.
- 9:00 PM - Back at the Funky Monkey, I write in
Funky Monkey's Epic Adventures - FAQ (More Like, "Stuff You NEED to Know Before You Dive In... or Run!")
Okay, So... Funky Monkey's. Sounds... intense. What *is* it, exactly?
Alright, buckle up Buttercup, because "intense" is putting it MILDLY. Funky Monkey's is, at its heart, a hostel. But it’s a hostel that’s been… well, kissed by the Goa gods of chaos. Think a jungle-themed rave, fueled by sunshine, cheap beer, and the unwavering belief that you *can* conquer that climbing wall, even if you're currently regretting *every* life choice. Basically, it's where sleep becomes a suggestion and making questionable life decisions before noon is practically mandatory.
Who’s this "Funky Monkey" anyway? Is it a guy dressed in a banana suit? (Please say it is.)
HAHAHA! I wish. Okay, so the Funky Monkey himself? I have no idea. But, it's definitely not a guy in a banana suit. I think it was a vague reference to some funky vibes back in the early days, but it's morphed into this... *thing*. A symbol. A promise? Look, it's better not to question it. Just roll with the funky, okay? Honestly? I've seen crazier stuff at the hostel. *Much* crazier.
What kind of room setups are available? Should I go for the dorms?
Alright, let's be real, you're in Goa for an EPIC adventure, yeah? Dorms are the *vibe*. Look, the private rooms ARE there, you've got other options there, but the dorms are where the *magic* happens. You meet a whole host of people, which means good times and chaos waiting to happen. My first night I was sharing with a guy who snored like a rusty chainsaw and a girl who swore she could talk to squirrels. It was… memorable. You've been warned.
How's the vibe? Is it just a bunch of rowdy youngsters, or is there a variety?
It's a *melting pot*, baby! You've got everything from gap-year kids who think they invented the concept of "traveling," to seasoned backpackers who've seen more of the world than you’ve had hot dinners. There are digital nomads clacking away on laptops, hippies strumming guitars, and the occasional lost soul trying to find themselves (or at least, their misplaced flip-flops). The common denominator? A shared love of life, laughter, and maybe a few too many cocktails.
Can I get some good food and drinks?
Are you kidding?! Dude, the food is DELICIOUS. Like, actually-deserves-to-be-Instagrammed delicious. The cocktails? Prepare for your bank account to weep, but your taste buds to sing. The hostel has a bar that rivals some of the best beach bars. My stomach still hurts from that one night, the one with the… nevermind.
Tell me about the activities. What kind of "adventures" can I expect?
Okay, here's where it gets *really* fun. Forget your boring "guided tours." These are *experiences*. Expect anything from sunset parties on the beach (complete with bonfire and questionable dance moves), impromptu surf lessons, jungle treks (with questionable fitness levels), to... well, I'm not going to spoil the surprises. But let's just say, expect the unexpected. One day there was a yoga class that turned into a full-blown water balloon fight. Another, someone found a stray dog and tried to launch a GoFundMe to adopt it, and another day just ended up as an epic beach party.
Is it clean? Like, *actually* clean?
Look, let's be honest. It's a hostel. Clean is… relative. It's Goa, it's a jungle. Bugs happen. Things get dusty. But the staff are generally on top of things. It's not a sterile hospital, but it's not a pigsty, either. Think "organized chaos." The bathrooms… well, they're functional. Bring flip-flops. You'll thank me later.
What about Safety? Is Funky Monkey's safe?
Generally, yeah. It's pretty safe. The staff is around, and generally keeps an eye on things. But, like anywhere, use your common sense. Don’t leave your valuables lying around. Don't go wandering off alone at night, especially if you’ve been sampling the local beverages. And trust your gut. If a situation feels dodgy, get out. Seriously. Your safety is your responsibility and no one else's.
I'm not exactly a "party animal." Will I still enjoy myself?
Hmm. That's a tough one. Look, Funky Monkey’s *is* known for its… lively atmosphere. There is a lot of it. But, there's space for everyone. If you're more into chilling and reading a book, you can definitely find a quiet corner. Just keep in mind, the party *will* be happening somewhere. And it might just drag you in, kicking and screaming (probably literally). But you do you, okay?
What's the best thing about Funky Monkey's? What's the worst?
Okay, here's my honest opinion, no sugarcoating. The *best* thing? The people. You meet the most incredible, diverse, and often utterly bonkers humans from all over the world. You form these crazy, intense bonds in a matter of days. You laugh until your sides hurt, you share secrets under the stars, and you make memories that will stick with you forever. I met someone, had a whole thing that was going on, right there. The *worst*? The hangovers. Seriously. They're legendary. I swear, one morning I woke up and thought my brain had migrated to my feet. And the mosquitos. Pack repellent. Seriously.
