Unbelievable Porto Gem: Ruby Charm House (12, 116354/AL)!
Okay, buckle up, buttercup. This is going to be a review of Unbelievable Porto Gem: Ruby Charm House (12, 116354/AL)! that's…well, let's just say it's going to be different. Forget the dry, clinical hotel reviews. We're diving in.
First off, the name. "Ruby Charm House"? Sounds a bit… much. You know? Like a romance novel cover. But hey, maybe it lives up to the hype. Let's find out.
(Deep breath… Here we go!)
Accessibility (OMG, the Elevator!)
Okay, first HUGE win: Elevator! I'm not kidding, after dragging my suitcase up five flights of stairs in a dusty Lisbon hostel last year, the presence of an elevator feels like a blessing straight from the heavens. The description says they also got "Facilities for disabled guests". Hope it means what it says, Porto is a city of hills.
Wheelchair Accessible: They say it is. Gotta check it out in person sometime.
Internet Access (Bless Their Wi-Fi Souls!)
Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms! HALLELUJAH! My phone, my life, my work – all depend on this. No more hunting for a signal like a starving dog on the street.
Internet [LAN]: Fancy! For the old-school nerds, I guess. I haven't used LAN since dial-up but good on ya, Ruby Charm House for thinking of everyone.
Internet services: Standard stuff? Hopefully, they have tech support, I've got a real horror story from last year about a hotel wi-fi and my presentation.
Wi-Fi in Public Areas: Nice to have, but the real test is the room Wi-Fi.
Things to Do (And How to Relax - PLEASE!)
Okay, so here's where things get interesting. The list of “things to do” is extensive, hinting at serious relaxation potential. Let's break this down:
- Pool with View: A VIEW! Yes! I actually require a beautiful view when I’m lounging by a pool. Give me that Instagram-worthy moment, Ruby Charm House! Crossing my fingers that it’s a real view and not of a parking lot…
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: Okay, so we have an outdoor pool. Are we talking freezing cold or gloriously tepid? That's the crucial question.
- Spa: Okay, this is promising.
- Spa/sauna: Okay, we're stepping up the game here.
- Sauna: I sweat like a pig, but I like it.
- Steamroom: See above. My skin gets red but relaxes the muscles.
- Massage: YES. Always a yes. Please let it be a good massage. I've had massages that felt more like a light pat on the back. Unacceptable!
- Body scrub, Body wrap: Hmmm… intrigued. I’m suddenly picturing myself wrapped in seaweed, and frankly, I’m okay with it.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: So, if you're into that, you're covered. I'm more into eating than exercising, but good to know the option is there.
- Foot bath: Whoa. Deep exhale… Is this a real thing? I am very in… After pounding the cobblestone streets of Porto, a foot bath is practically a religious experience.
The Pacing of "Relaxing":
Okay, here's where I get real. All this relaxation stuff? This is where the Ruby Charm House needs to deliver. After a day of exploring, I want to sink into pure bliss. Not an industrial-strength relaxation, but a gentle easing for the soul and the body.
Cleanliness and Safety (Important Stuff - Especially Now!)
Okay, this is no joke, folks. I'm a clean freak post-pandemic. So, this is crucial.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Thank GOODNESS.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Yes! YES!
- Hand sanitizer: Essential, I carry my own too!
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: This feels like a standard these days.
- Hygiene certification: Good to know!
- Individually-wrapped food options: I get it.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Necessary.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Room sanitization opt-out available: Okay, Ruby Charm House, you're really taking this seriously.
- Safe dining setup: Important if you are eating in.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: YES!
- Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: Makes me feel safer.
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Fire extinguisher, Smoke alarms: Gotta have these, for everyone's safety.
- Security [24-hour], Smoke detectors: Yep, happy to see these.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (OMG, the Food!)
This is my other area of immense interest. Let's see what we've got.
- A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant: Choices! Love choices.
- Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant: Okay, so they're trying to please everyone? I don’t even know what I’m in the mood for until I see it.
- Bar, Poolside bar: Gotta have a bar. Essential.
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service: All the breakfast options! This is good! I LOVE breakfast, and if I can get it in my room, even better. I don't want to be the first person out of bed, ever.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: Needed, to wake up!
- Coffee shop: Okay, good for a quick caffeine fix, or a cheeky pastry.
- Desserts in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant: Perfect for my lunch.
- Happy hour: Always a win. My inner child loves happy hour!
- Bottle of water: A must. Hydration is key.
- Restaurants, Room service [24-hour]: 24-hour room service. Score! Now we're talking.
- Vegetarian restaurant: Nice for the herbivores.
Anecdote: Breakfast Buffets, A Real-Life Nightmare
Let me share a quick anecdote, to illustrate the importance of a good breakfast buffet. I once stayed at a hotel in…well, let's just say it wasn’t Porto. The breakfast buffet was a disaster. Stale croissants, watery scrambled eggs, and instant coffee that could strip paint. I'm not exaggerating. I ended up wandering into the local cafe and eating half of their pastries. So, Ruby Charm House, the breakfast buffet is a make or break situation, you've been warned.
Services and Conveniences (The Little Things That Matter)
- Air conditioning in public area, Air conditioning: Essential. Especially in the summer!
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: If you are into that, I guess.
- Business facilities, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Seminars, Audio-visual equipment for special events: For those who need to work.
- Cash withdrawal, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Cashless payment service, Invoice provided, Safety deposit boxes: All those handy services.
- Concierge, Doorman, Front desk [24-hour]: Yes, yes, and YES! The 24-hour front desk is a must.
- Contactless check-in/out: Nice and easy!
- Daily housekeeping, Dry cleaning, Ironing service, Laundry service: Love the services.
- Elevator: We already talked about this.
- Essential condiments: What are the essential condiments, are we talking ketchup?
- Facilities for disabled guests: Good to know.
- Food delivery: Handy if you want to order in.
- Gift/souvenir shop, Luggage storage, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting: Again, good to have.
- Outdoor venue for special events: Could be cool.
- Projector/LED display, Wi-Fi for special events: For those meetings of the mind.
- Smoking area, Terrace: I don't do either, but some do.
For the Kids (If You Have Them - I Don't!)
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Okay, so if you’re traveling with the little bundles of joy, Ruby Charm House seems to have you covered. I, personally, will be hiding in the spa.
Access (The Nitty Gritty)
- **Check-in/out [express], Check-in
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because here's what I'm THINKING about for a trip to the Ruby Charm Houses in Porto, Portugal. Let's call it… "Porto, Puddles, and Panic (Maybe Not All in That Order)."
The Semi-Planned Disaster Zone (AKA My Itinerary):
Day 1: Arrival, Aching Feet, and the Allure of Ruined Buildings
- Morning (Hopefully): Touchdown in Porto! Okay, so I hope the flight isn't delayed. I hate airports. The smells! The people! The forced politeness in security lines! Anyway, assuming everything goes swimmingly, I'll grab my bag, stumble through customs looking like a bewildered sloth, and pray the taxi driver understands my atrocious Portuguese (or at least points me in the direction of the Ruby Charm Houses). I've heard the views are amazing. Already imagining myself, camera in hand, ready to snap some good views.
- Afternoon: Check-in. Breathe. Collapse on the bed. Hopefully, it's as charming as the photos suggest. I'm a sucker for old buildings, so fingers crossed. Then, the real fun begins. I will wander the Ribeira district. I have a plan to find a cute cafe - maybe with pastries. I am a sucker for pastries. Specifically, pastéis de nata. This is the goal. Then, I'll get lost. Like, properly lost. That's when the BEST discoveries happen, right? Right? Ugh, and I'll probably trip on those cobblestones. Already planning my inevitable stumble.
- Evening: Dinner! Probably somewhere with live Fado music. I'm a sucker for mournful music. It's a great way to feel dramatic and cultured, even if I understand approximately zero percent of the lyrics. Maybe some bifanas? I hear they are delicious. Or, you know… maybe I'll just get a pizza. Depends how brave I feel. And if the pizza place has good reviews. Don't judge me. I am a picky eater when it comes to pizza.
- Post-Dinner Ramblings: Ugh, I hope walking around isn't too much for my old feet; I will hopefully not be too tired from travel.
Day 2: Port Wine Pilgrimage and a Terrifying Bridge Crossing (Maybe)
- Morning: Okay, this is the BIG ONE. Port wine tasting! I'm envisioning myself as some kind of sophisticated connoisseur, swirling, sniffing, and exclaiming, "Ah, the velvety notes of… something!" In reality, I'll probably just be downing it like it's grape juice, followed by a mild headache. I will visit the cellars by the Gaia river and find out more about the production.
- Afternoon: The Dom Luís I Bridge. I've seen the photos. It's beautiful. But also… HIGH. I am terrified of heights. This could go one of two ways: Either I'll conquer my fear and get some epic photos, or I'll crawl across on my hands and knees, clinging to the pavement, and hyperventilating the entire time. I plan to take it slowly.
- Evening: Uh, I will try to do something different, but I am not sure what. I will check with the front desk and see what they suggest.
- Post-Sunset Reflection: I may just end up going back to the room and watching Netflix.
Day 3: Art, Azulejos, and Possibly an Existential Crisis
- Morning: I will visit one of the museums, likely the Serralves Museum of Contemporary Art. I haven't looked into it much yet, but it sounds artsy. Hopefully, it'll be thought-provoking. Or at least Instagrammable.
- Afternoon: Azulejos! Everywhere! I LOVE the colorful tiles. I'll hunt them down, photograph them, and attempt to figure out the stories behind them. I may get lost again.
- Evening: Alright, time for a proper Portuguese meal. I am not gonna be a pizza guy. I will not cave. I want to try the local specialties, seafood (if my stomach behaves), something authentic. I'll find a good restaurant. Hopefully.
- Post-Dinner Deliberations: Should I buy a souvenir? Probably. Maybe a pretty tile… or, you know, a bottle of Port. Or two.
Day 4: Recovery Day, River Cruise (Maybe), and Departure (Sob!)
- Morning: Sleep. Glorious, glorious sleep. And maybe a leisurely breakfast with a magnificent view.
- Afternoon: Okay, I am going to try to go on a river cruise down the Douro. It's SUPPOSED to be beautiful. I'm worried about being bored. I'm even more worried about being sea-sick. We will see.
- Evening: Last dinner! Trying to savor everything. A final Pastel de Nata. Maybe a second. Don't judge.
- Post-Dinner/Airport Lament: Ugh, airport time. I'm already dreading the flight. I'll plan my return.
Important Considerations (AKA My Internal Monologue):
- Language: My Portuguese is… nonexistent. I'll need to learn a few basic phrases. "Where's the bathroom?" "Is there WiFi?" "Another Pastel de Nata, please!"
- Cobblestones: Those things are treacherous. I need sensible shoes. And a good travel insurance.
- Food: I am a creature of habit. I should force myself to try new things.
- Budget: Always a challenge. I'm hoping to balance "splurge" with "avoiding ramen for a month."
- Pacing: I have a terrible tendency to over-schedule. This trip needs flexibility. I'm allowing for naps. Many naps.
- Emotional Stability: Let's be honest: I'm prone to moments of existential dread. Let's hope Portugal provides more joy than sorrow.
- The Ideal State of Mind: I want to experience everything, absorb everything, feel everything. I want to be open to new things in new places.
The Reality?
Who knows? It's probably going to be a beautiful and occasionally messy adventure. I'm sure there will be moments of awe, moments of frustration, and plenty of opportunities to judge myself mercilessly. But hey, that's travel, right? Bring on the chaos!
Charlevoix Getaway: AmericInn's Best Kept Secret (MI)
Unbelievable Porto Gem: Ruby Charm House (12, 116354/AL) - A Messy FAQ!
Alright, buckle up buttercups. You want the lowdown on Ruby Charm House? (12, 116354/AL). Prepare yourself, because it's not gonna be pretty. Or maybe it *is*. It's complicated.
Is Ruby Charm House REALLY as charming as the name suggests?
Okay, "charming." Let's unpack that word, shall we? My first impression? Well, finding the darn place was an adventure in itself. Google Maps kept sending me down alleyways that looked suspiciously like they were auditioning for a gritty crime drama. And then, *finally*, I saw it. The building itself? Adorable. Think… pastel-colored, kind of crumbling a little bit in a way that makes you think "vintage" instead of "neglected." So, yeah, charming-ish. But the true charm? That came later. (Or didn’t, depending on the day. More on that later…)
What's the deal with the location? Is it actually *central*?
Central? Well, it’s *close* to things. I’d say it’s a solid "walkable with some hill-climbing involved" central. Porto is, let's be honest, built on a mountain. So, expect your calves to sing a little after a day of sightseeing. It’s not smack-bang-in-the-middle-of-everything central like, say, some sterile chain hotel. It's got a character, a life. The bakery down the street? Divine. The late-night revelers sometimes? Less divine when you need your beauty sleep. (Don't judge, I need my sleep.)
How are the rooms? Are they as "ruby" as the name implies?
Okay, the rooms. Let's talk rooms. "Ruby" I think they went with on the name means "pretty" more than any particular color scheme. My room? Yeah, it had a certain… rustic elegance. Think exposed brick, a slightly wonky window that you thought you'd be able to shut but you never would. And let's not forget a bed that was more comfortable than the first mattress, not the second, but after the second was tossed by the third one. It was definitely charming. In a "this-place-has-seen-some-stuff" kind of way. Listen, I've stayed in worse. And I've stayed in *much* better. But I also found a stray sock of mine under the bed the previous day...It was like finding a treasure! Or an old friend that needed to go in the washer.
Is breakfast included? Because, honestly, I can NOT function without a decent breakfast.
Breakfast. The make-or-break of any hotel stay, in my humble, grumpy, pre-coffee opinion. YES! Breakfast IS (usually) included… and it's actually pretty good! The coffee had the required kick, the bread was fresh (that bakery influence at its finest!), and there was even some of that Pastel de Nata that I was OBSESSED with during my trip. Not a buffet, mind you. But they deliver it each morning to your room. It was a lifesaver. Seriously, a lifesaver. One morning the coffee pot was a little late. I panicked. I legitimately considered a full-blown meltdown. Breakfast is important, people!
Oh, and there were mornings when the *entire* breakfast basket was slightly delayed. Minor heart palpitations, people, minor heart palpitations.
What about the staff? Are they helpful?
The staff... ah, the staff. Okay, so here's the thing. They seemed genuinely nice. Genuinely. But sometimes… their English was a bit patchy. Which is fine! I’m rubbish at Portuguese. But trying to explain that I'd locked myself out of my room and hadn't packed my phone to the only staff who were there, who only spoke Portuguese, and me, while clutching my hair at 7 am, was an experience. An experience. Finally after calling the phone on a separate desk, I realized I should of gone to the front desk. But, they tried! And they were helpful. Eventually. Let's just say, patience is a virtue, and I am, well, working on it. In general, though? They seemed to care. That counts for a LOT. And the maid? She always made sure my room looked tidy. Even though, I have a tendency to create chaos, it was always appreciated.
Any major downsides? Be honest!
Okay, the downsides. Here we go. First, the noise. Porto is a vibrant city. That means late-night chatter, the occasional car alarm, and, on one particularly memorable night, a cat fight that sounded like a rock concert outside my window. Bring earplugs. Seriously. Bring. Earplugs. Second, the stairs. If you have mobility issues, RUN. This place is not for you. Lots and LOTS of stairs. Finally, the internet. It was… spotty. Like a grumpy teenager who only shows up when it feels like it. But hey, maybe that’s a good thing. Force yourself to disconnect, right? (I failed miserably at that...).
Oh! And the walls are thin. I could hear my neighbor's snoring. Loudly. I considered leaving a passive-aggressive note. I didn't. I should have.
Would you stay there again?
…Probably. Look, despite the quirks, the noise, the occasionally-dodgy internet, and my multiple locked-out-of-room incidents, I kind of *loved* it. The location was great, the breakfast was delicious (most of the time), the building was beautiful, and it felt… real. NOT some bland hotel chain. It had character. Flaws and all. And Porto, after all, it's *all* about character, right? Would I recommend it? Yes! With the caveat that you're prepared for the aforementioned quirks and maybe, just maybe, bring an extra dose of patience and a sense of humor. And earplugs. Definitely earplugs. And maybe a good locksmiths number for when you lock yourself out of your room... Again.
