Escape to Paradise: Mira Mare Praia Hotel, Guarujá, Brazil
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the sandy embrace of the Mira Mare Praia Hotel in Guarujá, Brazil. This isn't going to be your sterile, corporate-speak review. This is the real deal, flaws and all, soaked in sea breeze and the questionable remnants of a caipirinha or two.
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First Impressions (and the Accessibility Angle, Because That Matters):
Getting to the Mira Mare, oh boy. Guarujá itself is a chaotic ballet of motorbikes and sun-kissed tourists. As for accessibility, hmmm…Let's just say it's improving in Brazil. The hotel claims to have facilities for disabled guests, and bless their hearts, there's even an elevator. But, you know, the sidewalks in Guarujá aren't exactly smooth sailing for a wheelchair. Be prepared. Do your homework. Call ahead and triple-check. I'm sure they try, but reality on the ground might be a bit…rustic. Remember, this is Brazil, so expect a bit of "Brazilian-ness" in the details.
(Accessibility: Facilities for disabled guests, Elevator, Not perfect, but trying. Call ahead!)
Checking In (and the Sweet, Sweet Internet):
The check-in process? Smooth as silk. The staff? Smiles galore. They speak enough English to get by (and my rusty Portuguese was met with charming patience). And YES, glorious, heavenly FREE WI-FI IN ALL ROOMS! (And Wi-Fi in public areas. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus!) I could practically feel the Instagram likes cascading in as I connected. Plus, there were actual, functioning internet access – LAN if you're feeling old-school. (Remember LAN? Yeah, I do.)
(Internet: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas)*
The Room (and My Obsession with Blackout Curtains):
Okay, the rooms. Look, they're not the Ritz, but they're clean, comfortable, and have everything you need. Air conditioning? Check. Air conditioning in public area? Check. Air conditioning in the room? DOUBLE CHECK! (Because, Brazil.) I am a BLACKOUT CURTAIN ENTHUSIAST. And let me tell you, the Mira Mare understood the assignment. Glorious, light-blocking, sleep-inducing curtains! I slept like a baby. A baby who'd been at the beach all day and needed to recharge.
(Available in all rooms: Air conditioning, Blackout curtains, Coffee/tea maker, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Mini bar, Private bathroom, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Telephone, Toiletries, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.)
Room Deep Dive - The Bathroom (and the Weirdness I LOVE):
So, the bathroom… it was functional. The water pressure was decent. But the weirdness! I mean this in the best way! A bathroom phone. Who even uses a bathroom phone anymore? But it was there, a relic of a bygone era, and I loved it! It’s the little quirks that make a place memorable. Speaking of memorable, they had an additional toilet. So smart.
(Additional toilet, Bathroom phone, Private bathroom, Shower, Toiletries)
Things to Do (and My Attempt at Zen):
The beach is literally steps away. Steps! You can practically roll out of bed and onto the sand. It's Guarujá's main draw, and it doesn't disappoint. But the hotel itself? Plenty to keep you busy. Which brings us to the sauna. Oh, the sauna. It was properly steamy, and I might have spent a solid hour just sweating out my responsibilities. Zen achieved, people! I also dabbled in the Fitness Center (read: glanced at it guiltily). And there's a lovely Swimming Pool [outdoor].
(Things to do, ways to relax: Fitness center, Gym/fitness, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor])
Spa Day (and My Undeniable Love of Body Scrubs):
Listen, when I go on vacation, I embrace being a bit extra. So, yes, I booked a spa day. Do it. The massage was fantastic. The body scrub, though? Pure bliss. I emerged from that experience feeling like a brand-new human. Seriously, if you're on the fence, just treat yourself. You deserve it. (Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage, Spa)
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (and the Mystery of the Buffet):
Ah, the food. Okay, let's be real: the buffet wasn't exactly Michelin-star material. But hey, there was breakfast, there was a bar, there were restaurants! And happy hour! HAPPY HOUR! The International cuisine in the restaurant was fairly tasty, and the Western cuisine was familiar and welcomed. Don't expect culinary fireworks, but you will find something to satisfy your cravings. The poolside bar was a godsend, serving up ice-cold beers and caipirinhas. (Pro tip: order the caipirinha. They're strong. Very strong.) The Asian breakfast was an adventure. A snack bar – perfect for those beach cravings.
(Dining, drinking, and snacking: A la carte in restaurant, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant)
Cleanliness and Safety (and the Post-COVID Reality):
The Mira Mare seems to be taking the whole sanitation thing seriously. They had hand sanitizer everywhere. Daily disinfection in common areas. Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. And, I noticed staff trained in safety protocol. It felt safe, which is a big win.
(Cleanliness and safety: Anti-viral cleaning products, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment)
For the Kids (and the Promise of Babysitting):
They are indeed Family/child friendly. The kids facilities are also nice.
(For the kids: Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal)
The Staff (and Their Endless Charm):
Seriously, the staff made the experience. They were genuinely friendly, always helpful, and seemed to genuinely care about making your stay enjoyable. It's the small things, like a smile and a willingness to go the extra mile, that really make a difference.
(Services and conveniences: Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes)
The "Getting Around" Situation (and the Glorious Absence of Car Trouble):
Free car park [free of charge]. Bonus!
(Getting around: Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Taxi service)
What's Missing (and My Minor Gripes):
Okay, I'm not going to lie: it's not perfect. The elevators are small and slow. The decor is a bit…dated. The noise from the street can sometimes be a factor depending on your room. But honestly? The positives far outweigh the negatives.
The Imperfectly Perfect Conclusion and My Honest Opinion:
The Mira Mare isn't a flawless masterpiece. It's more like a slightly faded, wonderfully quirky postcard from Brazil. It's got character. It's got charm. It's got the beach right outside your door. And for me? That's enough. I would happily go back.
Here's the pitch, ready to book now?:
Escape to Paradise: Mira Mare Praia Hotel – Your Brazilian Beach Getaway!
Tired of the same old routine? Yearning for sun, sand, and a taste of authentic Brazilian life? Then look no further than the Mira Mare Praia Hotel in Guarujá!
Why Book Now?
- Beach Bliss: Steps from the golden sands of Guarujá. Wake up to the sound of the waves!
- Relax and Recharge: Indulge in spa treatments, soak up the sun by the outdoor pool, or sweat it out in our sauna. Body scrub? Yes, please!
- Connectivity is King: Enjoy free, lightning-fast Wi-Fi in all rooms and public areas. Share those envy-inducing beach pics ASAP!
- Eat, Drink, and Be Merry: From poolside cocktails and happy hour to international and western cuisine restaurants, there’s something for
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This isn't your sanitized, Instagram-perfect travel itinerary. This is real life. This is my attempt to survive (and hopefully enjoy) a week at the Mira Mare Praia Hotel in Guaruja, Brazil. God, I hope I survive. I've heard the caipirinhas here are lethal.
Day 1: Arrival & Beach Bliss (Or, The Day I Almost Lost My Suitcase – Twice!)
- Morning (That Isn't): Arrive in Guarulja. Flight was delayed, naturally. My luggage, bless its heart, decided to take a scenic route, first to… I don’t even know, some random airport in Paraguay probably? I swear, if I have to spend a day in these godforsaken clothes… Anyway, finally snagged it (miraculously!) at the Guarulja airport. Then the shuttle ride to the hotel. The driver was chatting away in rapid-fire Portuguese – which I understood… roughly zero percent – but he kept smiling and pointing at things, so I smiled back and pretended I did.
- Afternoon: Checked into the Mira Mare. The lobby is… well, let's say it has a certain charm. Think slightly faded grandeur, a lingering scent of salt air and old suntan lotion, and a parrot squawking “Olá!” that gave me a minor heart attack. Room? Pretty decent! Balcony overlooking the beach – score! The "beach" I thought!
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: The Beach OMG. The beach. Praia do Tombo. Okay, I'll be honest, I was picturing pristine white sand and crystal-clear water. This was… different. Less "Paradise Lost," more "Paradise Misplaced." Still, the ocean’s roar was incredible, and after a solid hour of fretting about the potential luggage-loss, I grabbed a cold Brahma and let myself just be. Fell asleep on my beach chair, which I'm pretty sure the sun then used as a personal tanning bed. Woke up with a sunburn that’ll be my friend for a week.
- Evening: Dinner at the hotel restaurant. Okay, the food was… well, let's just say it wasn’t Michelin-star material. But the view! Staring out at the ocean at night made up for everything. Stared a bit long, ordered another caipirinha. Found out pretty quickly that these things are like little, delicious alcoholic grenades. My head throbbed into the next day…
Day 2: Exploring (And Trying Not to Get Lost – Again!)
- Morning: Hangovers from hell. Ugh. Breakfast at the hotel. Let me tell you, I tried everything, and discovered that Brazilian coffee is STRONG. Good thing my sunglasses.
- Late Morning/Early Afternoon: The City: Decided to venture into the city. Wandered around, got hopelessly lost, and ended up in a bustling market where I swear they were all staring at me. I bought a souvenir I don't know what I will do with, but hey, I support the local economy.
- Afternoon: Found a charming little cafe. The coffee was excellent! The pastries? To die for! Spent a couple of hours just people-watching, which is maybe my favorite thing to do in a new place.
- Evening: Back at the hotel, absolutely exhausted. Decided to skip dinner. Ordered room service. (Yes, I know, slightly pathetic.) Watched some awful Brazilian TV. Actually, it was great! I didn't understand a single word, but the melodrama was epic.
- Night: Sleep! Sweet, glorious sleep! Until the seagulls. Those little bastards are relentless.
Day 3: Water Sports & The Great Swimsuit Debacle (Or, When My Ego Met Its Match)
- Morning: Vowing to avoid the strong coffee, I ate a healthy breakfast. Then I decided to go water skiing. Me! Who spends most of the year glued to a desk!
- Late Morning: Water Skiing. Okay fine, water skiing isn't the word, mostly because of my inability to get up. That stuff is hard! I was dragged around like a rag doll for a solid hour. The instructor was unbelievably patient (and probably laughing inside). He eventually gave up. I finally managed to get up but realized I'm probably not ready for the Olympics.
- Afternoon: Swimsuit shopping! Okay, fine, it felt more like "swimsuit humiliation." I headed to the shops, brimming with confidence. Turns out, Brazilian sizes are… different. Let's just say, my usual size was nowhere in sight. After about an hour and three meltdowns, I gave up. Found a decent hat. The hat is good.
- Evening: Back on the beach, in the hat, watching the sunset. The sunset itself was magnificent, and I tried to focus on it, not on my lack of a suitable swimsuit. Went to the hotel's restaurant and ordered fish. (Yes, I'm very original).
Day 4: Day Trip to Somewhere Exotic (And My Encounter with a Caiman)
- Morning: Decided I was tired of the beach and city, so chose a boat trip. The itinerary sounded amazing - clear water, amazing views.
- Afternoon: Wow. The views were epic!
- Evening: Got a bit of a sunburn, but hey, I am still here. This trip made me realize how much of a homebody I am. The boat was rocking, and it was a good nap.
Day 5: Rain, Relaxation, & Regrets (Mostly About That Caipirinha Habit)
- Morning: Raining. Absolutely pouring. Decided to embrace the enforced downtime. Did absolutely nothing but stare out the window.
- Afternoon: Massages! It was wonderful!
- Evening: More delicious caipirinhas. Realized I have to stop.
Day 6: Beach Again! (And a Farewell to the Seagulls)
- Morning: The sun decides to shine on my last full day. Went to the beach. The sea still roared. Had a fantastic time.
- Afternoon: Spent the afternoon at the hotel. Wrote a farewell letter to the seagulls. God, I'm going to miss those little monsters.
- Evening: Last dinner. Ate everything. The food was great.
Day 7: Departure & Reflections (Or, How Did I Even Survive?)
- Morning: Final breakfast. Checked out. Goodbye, Mira Mare! Goodbye, Guarujá!
- Afternoon: Back in the airport. No flight delays this time!
- Evening: Landed back home. Honestly, it's a miracle I made it back in one piece. This trip was… messy. Imperfect. Completely and utterly human. And you know what? I loved every minute of it. Or maybe I am just relieved it’s over!
Final Thoughts:
Okay, look. Brazil's beautiful. Guarujá's… let's say it's got character. The Mira Mare? A quirky, slightly faded gem. Would I go back? Probably. Maybe. After I've recovered from the caipirinhas and the seagulls and the near-drowning experience. But, for now, I need a very, very long nap. And maybe a therapist.
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Alright, spill the tea: Is Mira Mare Praia Hotel in Guarujá *really* a slice of paradise, or just Insta-bait?
What's the deal with the rooms? Are they as dreamy as they look online? (Or is it just deceptive photography?)
Let's talk food. Is the hotel's restaurant, Praia do Sol, worth the hype (and the cost?), or should I just stick to the street food?
How's the beach access? Is it crowded? Is it worth it?
Pool or Ocean? The eternal dilemma. Which is better at Mira Mare?
What kind of activities does Mira Mare offer? Or is it just "beach and chill"?
The best thing about Mira Mare? The worst? Real talk, please!
Any tips for making the most of my stay at Mira Mare?
